My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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