So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
