I just made out with a guy for $7.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
