Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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