Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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