are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
