he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
two words...techno handjob
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
