People with herpes should wear stickers.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
All the doctor said was why
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
