Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
