Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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