so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
