One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I got inside last night via doggy door
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
