i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
