I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
