Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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