Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
