just come out here and I will go home with you...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
