dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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