Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
