kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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