First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
