The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
