I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
