He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
