apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
