I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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