i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
