i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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