I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
