dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Let's paint friendship bongs
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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