just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
