we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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