fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
