I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
