pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
What drink are we having for lunch?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
