we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
