Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
