I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
BRING THE BAGELS
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
