how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
