you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
