exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
