Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
