Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
