Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
