I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
