then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
