Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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