highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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