Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
