So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
