We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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